My Angel
by mishmallow
Summary: Bella lead a prcarious life which finally catches up with her. She finds her angel, a reason to live...but is it really the end?. please give it a go. Its my first fanfic. I need reviews to keep going.


There was pain all over my body, less in some places than others, like my head was raging as if it had been cracked open, it probably had, and I couldn't move my arm...probably broken, it felt twisted at an odd angle – backwards but it was nothing compared to my head which made me consider death over the pain.

Why did it have to take so long?

Despite everything my senses of hearing and feel were sharpened although the painful sensation in my legs where the bleeding was the most from the stabbing was fading to a blank numbness. They did it so that I couldn't go anywhere and lie here to suffer. I could only think of the numbness as a good sign...one step closer to death. If only my head had been bleeding more...this was ridiculous.

Never had I thought a day would come where I would think of dying so casually. I mean of course I didn't want to die but this pain was too much, this pain was not just physical, no, it went deeper than that, it was the pain of betrayal, pain of losing a life I had worked so hard to create with my mother, pain of life becoming such an insignificant thing that I was only left to feel I had taken it for granted ...the pain of so agonizingly losing the one person that had always meant the most to me: my mother.

I worked to push everything aside and try for perhaps the last time to feel through these sharpened senses about my surroundings. I felt almost nestled into a bed except in was crackly and dry, dry leaves, not bothering or having the energy to open my eyes I imagined the brown crisp leaves around me.

They had covered me with leaves as I lay there bleeding, Leering and laughing about how no one would find me, saying 'probably find her later when she's a filthy skeleton with maggots, ha ha ha...' guess they were right nonetheless the mental image had made my empty stomach hurl.

I concentrated next on listening, it was serene and peaceful, the birds were chirping and somewhere very far there was a stream rushing, in fact it felt so far I accepted that it was probably my imagination but still I revelled in the sounds and they remained the same for a while seeming like the anchor of the remainder of my short life.

After a while the numbness had spread to my stomach which had been punched so many times I doubted it would ever work again even if it had the chance and I think a few ribs were also broken. Ugghhh bringing myself back to the pain had been a bad idea because now the worst one which had been in my head was ten times worse. It forced the tears again, suddenly my breathing was becoming laboured I had to not cry.

Not being able to breathe had been the worst feeling of my life when one of the guys had wanted to strangle me, he had nearly succeeded when the other one had stopped him saying that I deserved worse.

Now it hurt too much to breathe so I had been taking short breaths. I forced myself to calm down and focus back on my surroundings because not only did I desperately need the distraction there was also something different. Something had shifted. My hearing picked up the whoosh of wind running over clothes, but it couldn't be a person because I hadn't heard the crunch of leaves as they walked, it must have been an animal...I cringed internally at the thought of it coming to eat me. The smell of blood must have tipped it off.

The strange sense of paralysation taking me over was now nearly up to my neck and I hoped I wouldn't have to watch this animal eat me. I decided to let the blackness take me under; I had been fighting it for some reason, still hanging on to a shred of hope.

Something settled close to me and it was like now my senses would not allow me to slip away, becoming even more alert. The leaves above me were shifting and no later I felt the coldest and the softest touch on my face since...well forever. I tried to learn more about who belonged to it: there was a lot of light it was almost unnatural and my eyelids were so brightly red that I wondered if I was going to go blind; the scent coming off whoever was close to me was intoxicating as if it was a drug to ease me through the pain, it was no cologne or perfume or spice or flowery scent...just intoxicating enough that it put my pain to the back of my mind; and the touch, the cool touch I could still feel on my face, brushing away the debris and leaves was heavenly and so smooth making me feel like the pain had only been there because the touch wasn't.

Even though my brain was starting to register that this could be another threat and trying to infuse the fear in me I just couldn't help but feel safer than ever with this creature who could make me so much at ease and suddenly I was so ready to die with this memory, feeling like I had filled some grand purpose of my life.

However, only one thing could have jolted me back from the sudden pull towards the darkness. It was the voice of this stranger; I could not decipher the words it said but the voice was so smooth, like velvet as it silkily slid over my skin and overtook my whole being as I yearned to hear it again and relish in the warmth of the worry and panic that laced it.

It shocked me so much because I realised after hearing the voice that no matter what I had to see the face that belonged to these heavenly features and that that could be the only thing better than all of it. This feeling was so strong that no motivation was unnecessary, there was no need to conjure up the energy as my eyes flew open and they were momentarily blinded by how much light there was.

My weak eyes struggled to adjust and I caught a glimpse of the creature, his skin was dazzling with sparkling diamonds facets, it was so beautiful. The only other colour I could see was the reddish-bronze of his hair and the gold in his eyes, eyes so intense and concentrated that I wanted to avert my gaze but I was entranced with this angel; my angel. I was already dead I realised and this was my angel finally come to take the pain away.

Beautiful was not the word that did him justice; it was just the only one there because he was so much more than any other words.

The frantic worry in his eyes was so touching as I stared back at my angel. I wanted him to smile because surely everything would be okay now that he was with me. My feeble heart was pounding against its power and once again I was slipping away I wanted to say something to him perhaps thank him for coming but it seemed too hard, even my eyes were closing.

I couldn't understand, we were in heaven and even though I had probably never done anything good enough to be here but I was with my angel. why did I have to go away?

My eyes slid close and my breathing slowed as I came back to my pains but discovered that my head only had a dull ache now and was also numbed with the rest of my body.

The most devastating discovery was that my angel was gone. There was no feel of him around me: the touch, his fragrance and his touch it was all gone.

Or maybe it was just me losing all feeling with the numbness, maybe now I was really dying and he had just been my imagination. Nonetheless the loss of my angel was so massive that I wanted to start sobbing but all that I could feel was the numbness as I swam in the dark waters of my mind, drowning and drowning in the abyss.

After what felt like years of nothingness: no feeling, no senses, no thought; I felt something.

At first it was warmth in my throat,

Then my chest,

Then it spread along my arms,

Before long it was hot, even uncomfortable but I welcomed it as it was some feeling as opposed to the nothingness I was sucked into earlier.

However, what I was not prepared to endure was the raging fire that ripped through my body. It made me crumble. My will power was nowhere to be found. The heat was so much that I would never be able to describe it in words. The excruciating pain did make me want one thing, the one thing that I thought I would never willingly have wanted.

I wished for death.


End file.
